Listen instead

I’m a goal setter, but don’t like the drudgery of traditional goal setting. Also, I feel that I am not the ideal person to identify my worst flaws and prioritize them. The best people to do that are those around me the most – my family. But they don’t want to offend me – so I invented a way to get the best feedback with them feeling like they’re not going to offend me (and this works for everyone).

Here’s the plan:

  1. Everyone in the family has to come up with a goal for everyone else in the family (not for them self). So in my family of 7, I’ll come up with 1 goal for each of my 6 other family members and they will do the same. This will generate a bunch of ideas of what each family members feels is most needed for me. If you’re worried about offending – do it secret ballot style. There will be a bunch of duplicates – consolidate them so each person has a set of suggested goals. For my family of 7, each person will have up to 6 goal ideas, but more likely 2-3 after consolidating duplicate ideas.
  2. Give everyone $10 monopoly money for each member of the family (this time including self). For my family, that makes $70 monopoly money for each person.? Each person has to spend $10 on each person – putting their money on the goal they would most like that person to work on. You may decide to limit it so they cannot spend on their own idea or only half on their own idea.
  3. Add up the totals – whichever goal has the most money, is the top priority for that person.
  4. Attach a BIG reward to the accomplishment of the goal. “BIG” needs to be proportionate to the goal and person. For example, if my daughter gets a goal of “stop sucking your fingers” (which is a persistent problem), they may get a reward like a night out to Chuck E Cheese or a movie with mom and dad… something big to them. For adults – be creative within your budget.

Make sure the goals are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound (SMART). This makes for a fun way to set meaningful goals, achieve them and create some family unity at the same time!